How to deal with noisy neighbours

My noisy neighbours are driving me insane. Why do some people have to be so loud? At home, on the train, in the supermarket, to their children. And doesn’t it just irritate the hell out of you when people send emails sprinkled with a million exclamation marks!!! With some words also in BOLD!!!

It’s like everyone is shouting. Please stop shouting at me. I’m a very quiet person. I don’t like noise that isn’t my own (so selfish then, as well).

I have this theory about how to deal with minor irritations. And it isn’t what you’ll find in most self-help books. Most self help authors suggest that the best way to deal with the potential build-up of anger that can all too often arise from minor irritations is to let it out. Punch a bag or a pillow. Imagine the pillow is the person that is annoying you. This works, apparently, because you’ll be violent to a pillow and not to yourself by holding in all that irritation. This is the "catharsis hypothesis" - the notion that it’s better to vent your anger than keep it bottled up.

Well, I just don’t agree. Not least because I’m also a non-violent (quiet, selfish) person. I really don’t want to punch even the idea of a person. It’s still violence to me.
 

I also never really understood the metaphor of bottling things up, but apparently if you do let things bottle up then one day, and soon, you’ll explode with the pressure of it all. What began as a minor irritation will eventually release itself in the form an aggressive rage. So beware!!! 

I really do think this is a rubbish hypothesis and hypothesis is all it is because I can’t find a scrap of evidence to support it. I looked all morning. 

What I did find was some fine research by Brad Bushman* which indicates that venting actually makes things worse. Rather than punching pillows, Bushman suggests doing something incompatible with anger, such as reading or listening to music. As he remarks, this won’t in any way address the cause of the irritation but it will leave you in a better state to do so.

This makes sense to me.

So what do I do when I become irritated by other peoples inconsiderate behaviour? Well, I become more considerate. Both towards the source of the irritation and towards myself.

I take care not to become irritated in the first place because I learnt early on not to wage war with the outside world on inconsequential things, and instead I now turn my attention inward towards myself. This simple shift of attention has changed how I experience my world, including all the outside irritations that used to drive me insane. As a result I am now more content and a whole lot more tolerant.

This is what I do:

• When an irritating event occurs I stop and breathe
• I pay attention to how I am feeling and what I am thinking. This allows me to recognise how my old habits work so that they now no longer control me.
• I become aware of myself.
• I then think of the people I love the most and I pour this love onto my irritation much as you would put balm on a physical wound.
• I repeat these steps every time I face a difficulty

There is a space of time between what irritates you and your response. Don’t waste your precious feelings getting irritated. Save them for what really matters.

As far as noisy neighbours go - make friends with them. It’s always easier to ask friends to quieten down. The alternative is the prospect of having to live next door to people who end up loathing you, as much as you end up loathing them - not an all round good solution.

*Bushman, B, (2002) Does venting anger feed or extinquish the flame? Catharsis, rumination, distraction, anger, and aggressive responding’, Personality and Social psychology Bulletin, : 724-731

More advice on managing stress and dealing with difficult people in The Real Secret - available on Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk

Posted by Annabel

Three Good Things - Happiness Habit No.6

Research has shown that about 50% of our happiness is a result of genetics and about 10% can be accounted for by circumstances.That leaves 40% which is a direct result of our behaviour and ways of thinking that can be influenced*

That’s a significant amount of our happiness that we can do something about. The question, of course, is how to go about improving our happiness levels, and more importantly, improving them so that they last, and become a part of our overall outlook and experience of life.

Dr Martin Seligman, leading light of Positive Psychology, and his research team have scientifically tested some hundred “interventions” claiming to improve happiness. They found that recalling Three Good Things that happened that day increased happiness and decreased depressive symptoms for six months after the single week of testing. If participants actively continued the exercise on their own and beyond the prescribed one-week period, it appeared to keep raising happiness month by month after the first week.

Habit 6 in our Happiness Habits Experiment asks you to write down each evening, three things that went well that day; and reasons – preferably to do with you – why they went well. As you write them down, recall and relive the positive feelings you had as they were happening. If it works for you, keep doing it every day beyond the initial seven – or as often as you remember. If you get into the habit of writing Three Good Things twice a week for the rest of the year, you’ll have clocked up nearly Three Hundred Good Things that have happened to you.

Initial responses from participants in our experiment who adopted this habit have reported positively although many also commented that they found it a chore to have to write the three good things down. Whilst research has shown that writing increases the effectiveness of this habit, if you find it a chore then simply think of three good things that have happened during the day. I do this as I get ready to go to bed and find it also helps with getting to sleep.

So why does the habit of Three Good Things work?

There is a lot more research now on the way in which even fleeting thoughts and feelings can leave their mark on your brain and affect how you experience life. The more positive the thoughts and feelings you have, the happier you will become. Unfortunately, it appears that our brains preferentially register, store and recall unpleasant experiences over positive experiences; even when positive experiences outnumber the negative. And this in turn can, and does, lead to unhappiness. One way to override this is to foster positive experiences by paying special attention to the good things that happen to us, or that we see happen around us.

You need to actively search out for and notice the good things, particularly the little things that we often take for granted: the way children seem to laugh and play whenever they have the chance, the way the postman always says hello when you bump into him, the warmth of the sun - to name a few that I just noticed. It’s the little things that matter - we aren’t talking about big events. 

And when you alight upon a pleasant experience then it’s important to savour it. The longer that something is held in awareness and the more emotionally stimulating it is, the stronger the trace in memory. So if something good happens, however small, let the positive feeling it brings wash over you and then store it for later use.

Paying special attention to the good in your life is not about denying the hard things or putting a superficial gloss on things. It’s about recognising the need for balance. Given our brains preference for paying attention to negative experiences, positive experiences need all the help they can get.

'Happiness is round, sadness is square'  

 from the spanish 'Tristeza nao tem fim, felicidade sim', suggesting that

Happiness rolls away, but sadness stays

*Lyubomirsky,Sonya. The How of Happiness (New York: Penguin Press, 2007)

Posted by Annabel

Affirmations For Self Esteem - Happiness Habit No. 5

Do you have opinions and beliefs about yourself and the world in general that you consider to be “fact” and set in stone?

Well, think again.

Our core attitudes and values are simply learned thought patterns that we have developed since childhood. Thoughts are neurological pathways in our brain and the more frequently we think them, the deeper we cut the pathways. “Right” or “wrong” is an inappropriate way to assess them. It is more the case that, while many of our thought patterns continue to work well for us, others are working against us because we ourselves, our conditions or environment, have changed. They are dysfunctional and sabotage our ability to be happy and achieve what we want.

"We all have mental habits, and once they are set, they are as hard

to break as stopping smoking or biting your fingernails.”

Frank Pajares, Educational Psychologist

Throughout your lifetime, other people – and you yourself – have fed you negative messages about yourself, sometimes in words, other times by implication; sometimes on purpose, other times by accident. The most destructive of these are the ones that have been reinforced by repetition of someone else’s opinion, by circumstances that seem to validate this view of you, through negative comparisons to other people or your own continual acceptance of these limiting beliefs.

“Low self-esteem is like driving through life with the hand-break on”

Maxwell Maltz, writer (1899-1975)

These negative views of yourself affect your ability to be happy, to enjoy life and be at ease with yourself, even when you’re not consciously aware of holding them. They transmit themselves to other people via your body language, your turn of phrase, your attitude and your whole approach to life; they hold you back from enjoying good experiences, strong relationships and positive developments.

Would you purposely let a child of yours constantly hear yours or others’ negative thoughts about them? Hopefully not, because you wouldn’t want these ideas to enter their belief system, leading them to internalise a poor self-image. But, consciously or unconsciously, you are repeating these harmful messages back to your own mind. After all, whose ears are the first to hear the words you speak or even think?

Exactly – yours.

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."

Maya Angelou, writer

Research into self-efficacy and resilience demonstrates that it is never too late to recover from low self esteem. One key is to avoid self-defeating assumptions. If you lose a job or a partner leaves you, it is important not to internalise the rejection and assume you’ll never be employed or loved again. Don’t allow one rejection to derail your dreams. Negative self-perception also leads to fear of humiliation. You won’t achieve a fully happy life if you can never take risks or always avoid challenges because you are afraid of making mistakes.

Every thought you think, and every word you say is an affirmation. Your inner dialogue is a stream of affirmations which provide the framework of how you experience your life at every moment. In The Real Secret's Step Two we show you how to take any misguided, negative perceptions of yourself, expose them to the light of day and see them for the unhelpful thought patterns they are. Then  replace them with positive, constructive and self-nurturing messages that will bolster your confidence and speed the journey to happiness.

Happiness Habit 5, "Yes I Can!", in the Happiness Habits Experiment - asks participants to replace up to four negative self-perceptions with positive affirmations and repeat those daily for three weeks. This Happiness Habit has proved to be the second least popular, with only half as many people signing up to do it as for the two most popular, "Simply Smile" and "Three Good Things". It will be interesting to see, though, which of the Happiness Habits has has had the greatest effects on people's happiness levels when we get the surveys back in and analysed.

There's more about taking control of your life, defeating negative beliefs and low self esteem in The Real Secret which is available in paperback and Kindle on Amazon.co.uk and Amazon.com

Post by Lucy

Spreading Happiness - Happiness Habit No. 4

What single thing will bring you the most happiness today?

It could be a much needed cheque arriving in the post. It might be successfully completing a challenging project. Or it may be the simple pleasure of a walk in the park with your dog. But the likelihood is that it will be some kind of communication with another person: appreciation from your boss, a phone call from a friend, being able to cheer up your child, or sharing a moment with your partner.

“One of the best ways to make yourself happy is to make other people happy. One of the best ways to make other people happy  is to be happy yourself.”

Gretchen Rubin, writer

Every recent study of happiness shows that good relationships are fundamental to being happy and that happy people have better relationships.

Positive emotions are generated by good interactions with other people. During these interactions our brain responds with chemical responses such as the production of “feel good” hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. In an upward spiral, positive emotions then make us feel better disposed towards others, more empathic, helpful, open and loving.

Positive Psychology research has found that altruism is strongly correlated with happiness. Professor Martin Seligman commented on a study that linked happiness with altruism; he was surprised, because he thought that unhappy people would identify with the suffering of others and be more altruistic. But "findings on mood and helping others without exception revealed that happy people were more likely to demonstrate that trait [altruism]" (Seligman, 2002, p. 43). And likewise, altruism helps people to be happy. Seligman cites a range of evidence to show that there is a causal link between altruism and becoming happier in his book, Authentic Happiness (e.g. pp. 8-9). Jane Piliavin has also analysed studies which have looked at the effects of helping others, and concludes that, "on many levels - psychologically, socially, and even physically - one indeed does 'do well by doing good'" (Piliavin, 2003, p. 243). 

Richard Layard tells us that neuroscientific research shows that when we do kind things for other people the same areas of our brain light up as when we eat chocolate. What a bargain - and it's not even fattening!

"Happiness comes from giving, not getting. If we try hard to bring

happiness to others, we cannot stop it from coming to us also.

To get joy, we must give it, and to keep joy, we must scatter it."

John Templeton, philanthropist (1912 - 2008)

Habit No. 4 of the Happiness Habits Experiment is "Spreading Happiness" and we ask participants to undertake some act of kindness, above and beyond their normal, kind activities, daily for three weeks. Amongst our first tranche of participants, this Habit is only the fourth most popular: coming after "Simply Smile", "Three Good Things" "And Breathe..." - but ahead of "Yes I Can!" and "Fun To-Do Lists". We very much look forward to finding out how effective those who signed up for it, found it.

Whether you have signed up or not to the Happiness Habits Experiment, think of some generous actions which you could realistically carry out each day over the next three weeks. They can be gifts of your time, energy, or effort, and don’t have to cost money; they could be small and impulsive, or they could involve serious input and planning on your part. They can be directed to people you know and love or to someone you find hard to get on with; to contacts or colleagues; to strangers in need or to charitable organisations. They should be actions different to or beyond those kindnesses you already do on a regular basis.

You can do something extra for someone you see every day, or you can reactivate a lapsed friendship by an act of unexpected giving. You can enjoy watching the surprise and pleasure of those you offer your gift to, or you could savour in your imagination the amazement and gratitude of someone you help anonymously.

If you want some ideas for Spreading Happiness, have a look on the Random Acts of Kindness website for inspiration. And there are more Happiness Habits in The Real Secret programme.

Post by Lucy

Piliavin, J. A. (2003). Doing Well by Doing Good: Benefits for the Benefactor. In C. L. M. Keyes and J. Haidt (Eds.), Flourishing: Positive Psychology and the Life Well-Lived (pp. 227-247). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association.

Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. New York: Free Press.

Happiness Habit 3 - To Do Lists / Goal-setting

Happiness Habit No.3, in our Happiness Habits Experiment, is "Fun To Do Lists". Amongst our first cohort of participants who have signed up to the Happiness Habits research project, this has turned out to be the least popular Habit of the six they can pick from. (We ask participants to choose from one to six activities - the Happiness Habits - and carry them out daily for three weeks, after which we survey their responses.) No 3, "Fun To Do Lists", has been chosen by less than half as many participants as those who have chosen to "Smile" daily (No. 1) - the most popular Habit to date.

And yet writing down three fun or enjoyable goals a day, pursuing, achieving and ticking them off the list, may provide those who are doing it with a clearly increased level of satisfaction with life. Here's why:

Setting and achieving goals has a powerful influence on creating well-being in our daily lives. We now know that the steps involved in goal-directed activity – motivation, goal-seeking, successful outcome and feelings of pleasure – are wired into the brain's structure. All achievement starts with motivation. Motivation leads to a decision that triggers a behaviour aimed at satisfying the aim. Achieving the goal produces positive feelings because it releases neurotransmitters like dopamine, which reinforces the reward, and acetylcholine, which helps the brain “tune in” and embed memories of success. Positive memories then encourage you to repeat the process which caused the pleasure.

“To achieve happiness, we should make certain that we are never
without an important goal”
Earl Nightingale, writer, broadcaster (1921-1989)

The brain’s automatic goal-seeking mechanism was first identified by Dr Maxwell Maltz in his classic self-help book, Psycho-Cybernetics. He recognised the importance of defining a goal in positive terms; of creating a specific description in words and visualising the outcome of the goal; and of constant, conscious repetition of these steps to activate the goal-seeking mechanism of our subconscious.

The Reticular Activating System, as it is called, is such a successful piece of brain circuitry that it is essential to feed it only goals you really want to achieve, because the wrong messages can become embedded in your subconscious if you frame them carelessly or in negative terms.

A well known 1953 Harvard University experiment identified ten percent of graduates who had set themselves some goals and four percent who had actually written down their goals. By 1973 the net worth of the four percent was double that of all the rest.

In the task of  "Fun To-Do Lists" for the Happiness Habits Experiment, we have combined goal-setting with elements of The Real Secret's first step, "Choose To Be Happy" - where scheduling regular fun into your life is another Habit. You cannot, by definition, achieve peak performance all the time and by taking a break from one kind of activity, you allow your brain time to process and work more efficiently when you come back to it. Fun breaks or pleasurable activities that give you opportunities to smile,laugh and relax are especially beneficial.

  

“The real joy of life is in its play. Play is anything we do for the joy and love of doing it, apart from any profit, compulsion, or sense of duty. It is the real joy of living.”

Walter Rauschenbusch (1861-1918)

In The Real Secret Step 4, "Route Planning", we ask readers to write some of the most important words of their life: goals for the long term, the mid-term and the immediate future.  However ambitious your goal, you can make your way towards it with regular, incremental, achievable steps, using flexibility to adjust your aims to changing situations and The Real Secret Habits as a road map to achieve your most desired destinations.

We'll be publishing our report on The Happiness Habits Experiment in early April. Please do sign up if you're interested in taking part in our ongoing research project.

Post by Lucy

International Women's Day; Women's Mental Health

“Women are drawers of water, hewers of wood, labourers, preparers of food, bearers of children, educators, healthcare providers, producers, and decision-makers. Although they are central to caring for families and communities, to production and reproduction, they are accorded unequal status. Throughout the world they are overworked and undervalued. Their subordination makes it more difficult for them to cope with the demands made upon them whether of a physical, social or emotional nature. Woman are more vulnerable than men to sex exploitation and violence, to poverty and malnutrition, to environmental degradation, to chronic diseases which are often exacerbated by pregnancy and lactation, and to the debilitating effects of harmful traditional practices.”

This was the opening of the Preface to the World Health Organisation’s 1993 report into Psychosocial and Mental Health Aspects of Women’s Health. 18 years later, the same still holds, though there is a growing understanding of these issues and more work being done to attempt to right the inequalities.

It is quite clear, though, that "gender determines the differential power and control men and women have over the socioeconomic determinants of their mental health and lives, their social position, status and treatment in society and their susceptibility and exposure to specific mental health risks. Gender differences occur particularly in the rates of common mental disorders - depression, anxiety and somatic complaints. These disorders, in which women predominate, affect approximately 1 in 3 people in the community and constitute a serious public health problem." (World Health Organisation)

MIND’s factsheet on Women and Mental Health gives us the following statistics about women’s mental health in the UK, taken from a variety of sources: 

• ·     Recorded rates of anxiety and depression are one and a half to two times higher in women than in men.
• ·     One study showed that 57% of those attending emergency departments for self-harm were women.
• ·     13 to 15% of new mothers experience postnatal depression.
• ·     Women in custody have a high level of psychological disturbance – 78%, compared with 15% in women in the general adult female population.
• ·     Nearly two-thirds of women on remand have a diagnosis of depression. More than 40% have attempted suicide before entering prison. More than twice as many have an eating disorder compared with women in the general population.
• ·     One in four women will experience intimate partner (domestic) violence (IPV) in their lifetime. Depression affects nearly half of women exposed to IPV, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) affects almost two-thirds.
• ·     90% of the 1.6 million people in the UK who have an eating disorder are female.

 Another WHO report demonstrates the international and cross-cultural phenomenon of women’s vulnerability to depression, anxiety, psychological distress, sexual violence, domestic violence and escalating rates of substance use, which affect women to a greater extent than men across different countries and different settings. “Pressures created by their multiple roles, gender discrimination and associated factors of poverty, hunger, malnutrition, overwork, domestic violence and sexual abuse, combine to account for women's poor mental health. There is a positive relationship between the frequency and severity of such social factors and the frequency and severity of mental health problems in women. Severe life events that cause a sense of loss, inferiority, humiliation or entrapment can predict depression.”

Williams and Miller report that “Gender inequality in society leads to differences in the life experiences of men and women, which affect mental health in different ways. Gender inequality is described as a system that tends to give more advantages to men in terms of employment, status and ownership. Women are much more often expected to look after others in the home or in society, often doing work that is undervalued and unpaid or poorly paid.”

The Geneva report of the WHO agrees that “Some risk factors for mental health problems affect women more often than men. These include gender-based violence, social and economic disadvantage, low income and income inequality, low or subordinate social status and rank, and major responsibility for the care of others.”

For some women, family life may contribute to mental distress. Many women have primary or sole care of children, and women are more likely than men to take on caring responsibilities (e.g. for older family members). Women also tend to work in part-time jobs, and are over-represented in low paid occupations and sectors such as teaching and care work. Williams finds that the low social status traditionally associated with domestic and caring work can damage feelings of self-worth, while the stresses of overwork, extensive responsibilities and feeling undervalued can damage women’s mental health. While the extent of gender-based disadvantages varies according to social class and ethnicity, it has been argued that women bear the brunt of reconciling paid work with family life.

Research also shows that there are three main factors which are highly protective against the development of mental problems, and especially depression. These are:

• having sufficient autonomy to exercise some control in response to severe events.
• access to some material resources that allow the possibility of making choices in the face of severe events.
• psychological support from family, friends, or health providers

Women around the world are less likely than men to have the first two, but hopefully number among their armory against mental health problems the support of family and friends.

And Pilgrim has found that women in the UK receive more services than men for mental health problems at the level of primary care, though this difference is less at the level of secondary care (specialist and hospital treatment). It is difficult to know whether more mental health problems are diagnosed in women at primary care level because they seek help more often than men, or because they actually experience more distress.

Either way, women's place in society the world over - their central role as carers of young and old,  their lower economic status and perceived value compared to men, their difficulties in balancing working and domestic life and their greater vulnerability to violence - negatively affects their mental health outcomes. This is mitigated by supportive relationships with friends and family and a willingness to seek help for problems - but it is not enough. Greater equality for women will bring improved mental health: a number leading charities brought together by Annie Lennox are working towards it under the banner of We Are Equals.

Posted by Lucy

More at:

http://www.who.int/mental_health/prevention/genderwomen/en/

http://www.mind.org.uk/help/people_groups_and_communities/women_and_mental_health#_ednref13

Williams, J. and Miller J., 2008, ‘Gender inequality and the mental health of women and men’, in T. Stickley and T. Bassett (eds) Learning about mental health practice. Chichester, Wiley: 381–400.

Astbury, J., 2001, Gender disparities in mental health. Mental health. Ministerial Round Tables 2001, 54th World Health Assembly. Geneva, World Health Organisation

Pilgrim, D., 2010, ‘Mind the gender gap: mental health in a post-feminist context’ in: Kohen, D (ed) Oxford textbook of women and mental health. Oxford University Press, Oxford

Perrons, D., 2009, Women and gender equity in employment, Institute for Employment Studies.  

Williams, J., 2005, ‘Women’s mental health’, in: Tew, J (ed), Social perspectives in mental health: developing social models to understand and work with mental distress, Jessica Kingsley Publishers, London

 Department of Health, 2002, Women’s mental health: into the mainstream, DH, London

Hapiness Habits Experiment - Habit 2... And Breathe

We all know that stress is part of contemporary life and that too much is bad for us, physically and mentally. Our early ancestors developed a mind-body alarm system to save them from physical harm and possible death. Evolution being a slow process, the system hasn't yet adapted to Western, twenty-first century living and the alarm is still activated by our feelings of anxiety and fear. Today, worrying situations are unlikely to threaten our survival, yet our brain interprets them as d-a-n-g-e-r-o-u-s and triggers the body into the primitive "Fight or Flight" reaction.

"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Franklin D. Roosevelt (1933-1945)

When there is no need for, and no possibility of, actual fight or flight, the physical and psychological symptoms of this are unpleasant and distressing. Though you need this mechanism for your physical survival in times of real danger and, sometimes, just to boost your responses, it's not useful or healthy to be often or excessively stressed and anxious. You cannot begin to relax into happiness if you spend much time feeling like this.

Getting into the simple habit of slow, regular breathing allows you to reduce your stress levels, in general, and also in particularly difficult situations.

To practice, sit in a comfortable chair, back straight and well supported, feet flat on the floor. It can help to close your eyes. Become aware of your breathing: feel the air coming in and out of your lungs, cold through your nose as you inhale; warm as you exhale. Focus on your OUT breaths.

Breathe in a long, slow breath, right down into your diaphragm (you should be able to feel your belly, not your chest, going in and out) until your lungs are expanded fully (but stop before you feel you're going to burst). Breathe out slowly until your lungs are completely empty (but not so you're gasping).

Breathe in and out five times like this, in your head counting up to five as you breathe in and back down from five to one as you breathe out. Keep the in and out breaths regular and flowing; don't hold the breath at any point. After five deep breaths, breathe more gently and normally and find your natural rhythm as you breathe in and out. If you can make the out breath longer, that's good.

"When the breath wanders the mind also is unsteady. But when the breath is calmed the mind too will be still…. Therefore, one should learn to control the breath."

Svatmarama, Hatha Yoga Pradipika (15^th century)

So how do you feel now?

Your body is less tense and more relaxed and your mind quieter and calmer. You have induced this state of calm in yourself. Congratulate yourself. Taking satisfaction in this achievement will activate some of the pleasure centres in your brain and release endorphins which increase your feelings of well-being.

By changing your breathing, you are changing your physical response to a situation. The message your body is giving your brain is: “I am breathing in a calm, relaxed manner therefore I am in control.” As your brain registers this message, it assumes any danger has passed and deactivates the Fight or Flight response.

In our Happiness Habits Experiment this is Habit No. 2. We are asking you to practice this (and any of the five other Habits) at least once a day for three weeks. You can do it anywhere: watching TV, on public transport, at your desk – and as you do so, you will start to raise the threshold at which your Fight or Flight reaction kicks in. Soon you will be able to use it in any situation and induce calm in a couple of minutes. Before long it will become an automatic reaction to any stressful situation as well as something you just do to increase your sense of ease. In the following weeks, notice how much you use this new skill and what positive effects it has for you.

Sign up to become part of our Happiness Habits Experiment here - and get the rest of The Real Secret's "Mind Stretching" exercises here

You can also get our FREE Relaxation Audio here

Posted by Lucy