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The Real Secret is a different kind of self help. We debunk the empty promises of so many books and DVDs and bring you a simple, sensible approach to real life fulfillment. We don't believe you can achieve happiness, or anything else, by simply wishing for, thinking about or visualising it. Our book - and this blog - takes only the best of what really works and turns it into a positive, practical 12-step programme that will enable you to take control of your life and raise your happiness levels.

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The Real Secret is simple, sensible, scientifically supported self help
by Lucy McCarraher & Annabel Shaw

2/14/2011

Words of Love


From the Greek* we have four different forms of love; eros, philia, agape and storge.

Eros - this is passionate love which is characterised by sexual desire, longing, jealousy and a heightened awareness. Eros is exciting - it gives spikes of happiness rather than a constant feeling of well-being. It’s the love we feel at the very beginning of a love affair. It’s the ‘falling in love’ stage and the inspiration for artists. Eros doesn’t last long - about two years - on its own; to last any longer Eros needs to be supported by the following forms of love.

Philia - this love is serene and more akin to friendship. You love each other for the care and support you experience in the relationship. It’s the kind of love that can last a very long time and the longer it lasts the more precious it becomes. Whilst philia has no need of eros, eros cannot survive for long without philia.


We talk about the neurological basis of Eros (lust and romantic love) and Philia (long term attachment) in this blog post.

Agape - this is a selfless love that only wants the best for the other person. It can apply to universal themes such as the love for mankind as taught by Buddha, but is also the love you feel for your partner, even when they no longer love you back. Agape brings happiness to those who give it and doesn’t ask for anything in return. In this way Agape can love all on its own - it needs no-other.

Storge
love means "affection". It is the kind of affection felt by parents for their children, or between members of a close knit community. This is not a romantic form of love but a necessary understanding for other forms to develop.

There is more information about how we find, attract and are attracted to new friends, lovers and partners in this post. Or check to see whether your relationship or marriage is likely to be long lasting and happy by clicking here.

*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

posted by Annabel

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